Cats have 9 Lives

I tell people to be wary of air signs, especially libra's 

As a libra moon I can tell you 

Ruled by Venus the planet of love 

romance, aesthetics, poetry, and more 

Many hands to hold and stories to please 

Beautiful like a Kardashian and cold like Cruela 

Air signs do not naturally feel emotions 

Libras exhibit love in its most idealistic nature 

And the devil never shows up in horns 

Lucifer prefers Prada 

We all live in our own created Kingdoms 

In my case, the devil has only 4 matches 

Meet Aries, Aquarius, Scorpio, and Sagittarius 

Aries annoyed me, threatened, and fought me 

But gave me strength, courage, and the speed to run away to- 

Aquarius

Aquarius fooled me twice, maybe three times 

Air sign charm, logical, witty, and in denial 

Drugs make it easier to deny the human existence 

Aquarius pushed me to snort, puke, pop, and fight for my life 

But I learned the resilience one would need to encounter a - 

Scorpio 

nearly killed me 

A Pisces Rising, Cancer Moon, Scorpio 

If you don’t know how to swim 

stay the hell out of the sea 

because you will drown 

And they’ll mourn your absence poetically 

Floating up to shore I met Sagittarius 

Who pulled me out and showed me the way 

Dried my tears and let down my hair 

Let me run free, scream, laugh, and danced

Anything but cry over my misery

We danced into the tower he made for me

Making love into the sunset 

Then putting me to rest in Rapunzel's nest 

Only for me to awaken to him gone and no trace of him left 

Losing my breath 

Trying to retrace my steps 

Was it all a dream 

Did I get lost in another mystery 

This was more dangerous than Scorpio 

And more elusive than Aquarius 

This was something I could not run from 

And had no one to fight with 

You can’t fight when you're alone 

It’s like fighting with a ghost 

No one to hear you much less understand you 

But for the first time 

I heard the sound of my own voice 

and questioned it’s reasoning 

I got used to the dark and saw visions I didn’t know I had 

I lost myself in the sounds of my own cries

No matter how much I cried 

It all felt so empty until 

I had a vision of my Mothers agony and Fathers rage 

I listened again to hear my ancestors cry and cultural demise 

I felt the lies that I was conditioned to live by 

The falsehood about my being and what it means to be a woman 

The expectations of a woman 

A woman of color 

From the Blacks, Whites, Reds, and Blues 

Who do you want me to be? 

To be appropriate for you 

To pass your tests, accomplish your tests, speak your language, or color my hair like you 

I can’t change my skin, I won’t change my name, I can’t change history, it all drives me insane 

Be yourself they scream 

Love yourself they preach 

But stay over there and stay out of my sons hair 

But still look at me

Be like me 

Because in order to exist here 

In this country we share 

There is no you without me 

When I opened my eyes I saw a light in the dark that I had lived in my whole life 

I saw the bed of lies I laid on and kept making hiding the blood from the wounds they caused 

I saw the patches in my dress that I had patched up my vulnerable truth 

I saw the wig on my head that I placed so they wouldn’t be reminded that I was not them too 

Filled with rage, I set fire to the tower

Burning everything I had, the history, stories, aspirations

and all the pictures of people I claimed I once knew

Ripped off the hair and clothes I wore to impress you 

Died to the hands of my own dismay 

But this ego death was self inflicted 

God said it was not my time yet  

So I rose once again 

In the ashes with nothing but me, my bare skin, and my new truth 

Nothing was left for me there, I wanted nothing there, and I was ready to move on 

I looked once more in the mirror to see me 

not as a teenager, student, or a successful story

I saw me in my purity 

Wild hair, glistening eyes, I call her the inner child 

I had never felt like this before

So free.. 

I hear a call 

And look out the window to see Sagittarius at the bottom waiting for me 

“All the way up here, how do I get down?” 

“You have to take the Leap!” 

In that moment I had a decision

I could clean the home and remake the pretty portrait

A replica of my past 

Stay in the comfort of repetition

because at least I'd know how the time would pass

Or I could leap of faith into

The unknown 

Where I wouldn’t know where to go 

Or who would be awaiting me 

If Sagittarius was even real 

Or was he merely Peter Pan to my Wendy 

Was he only here to reveal what was hiding beneath me 

As I fell, I landed on my feet 

I heard his laugh “Cat’s really do have 9 lives” 

Well it’s a great time to be a Leo rising